Breaking News: Warhammer 40,000 7th Edition Rules

by Eric

Games Workshop has yet again revolutionized the tabletop wargaming hobby with the 8th edition of it’s best-selling Warhammer 40,000 Rulebook.  The book is a whopping 1,265 pages long and costs $299.00.  It is only available on games-workshop.com.  The new book contains 1,264 pages of artwork you’re guaranteed to have seen in less than 100 other GW publications, and 1 page of simplified rules.  Salvaged Iron has decided to risk a Cease & Desist order by leaking the new game rules in their entirety.

1. Army Building – All figures that cost less than $100 now cost 1 point.  All figures that cost more than $100 cost 2,500 points.  All games are now played at 2,500 point level.

2. The player with the largest figure goes first.  The opposing player may seize the initiative by presenting over $1,000 in receipts from games-workshop.com.

3.  Movement: All 1 point figures may move 1″.  All 2,500 point figures can move 300 feet.

4. Shooting & Melee: 1 point figures may not shoot or charge.  2,500 point figures may target anything by shooting or charge anything within your ZIP code.  On a 2+ roll, you win the game.

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